Prioratizing and being Thankful

I needed to vent.... I've been surrounded by drama that isn't mine, and its going to kill me. Between those that spend all their money on shit then bitch about not being able to pay their bills or buy food; and then there are those that are not taking their marriage vows seriously and causing all sorts of issues... retarded. I really don't get why Marriage causes so much drama.

Marriage should be an event that takes place in a relationship. It should bring the two people closer together not change them or cause issues. And that's a comitment you should take seriously. None of this is happening though. It really bothers me.

So this past week I just refused to talk to any of them and I found that I was a lot happier and had a better week. I was able to do better at work, so much though that it was noticed by more than one person.

Plus I've had some awesome photoshoots and to be honest I like doing it.. but i'm half and half on it. I think I'll get some way cute pictures of me and then call it good for a while. I enjoy the confidance boost but I'm not 100 percent sure on how Dave feels about it...

We are trying to plan a few get a ways :). I'm hoping that I can swap my work on the 11th for the 18th and if Tazia can house/puppy sit, Dave and I are going to drive down to Los Angeles and play on the beach for a day then come home. We're also planning a small weekend trip to Yellowstone Nat park and Kaycee WY to see Chris Ladoux's grave and memorial. i've seen pictures and I want to go see it in person. Way excited for those.

I really hate it when Dave is gone, I'm so happy he's back and home. I love him so much and I can't even imagine what life would be like without him. I hope I never find out.

I decided that I need to start hanging out with people that are less drama and more good karma. I am starting to hang with Whitney more, which I feel is a very good move. We have so much in common its scary and finally after trying so hard I have gotten through to her and she's let me in and started to trust me. I'm way excited about that.

I wish people would be more thankful for what they have. All the bitching and negativity really eats at you and I just get worn down by it. Its hard and honestly I'm done. Its all about me now and making sure that I am ok. Which means I'm starting several lists. One for stuff that I want for the house, and one for me. I want to start having nice clothes to look more professional. I am actually buying a black dress... yes a black dress, and experimenting with different makeup sceems and I am getting serious about working out. I want to look and feel amazing and I'm tired of just talkig about it. Its time to start doing it.

James and Mary's Wedding 06-11-10

So James got married.... trips me out still, but Mary is an absolute sweetheart and I'm exited to have her in my life. It rained the entire day, but it was so much fun and ended up being a beautiful day.

The Cake

The Ceremony with the Bishop, he was way funny

Her shoes rocked my world

First Dance.... totally not obvious how much they love each other

Awe.... James is all growed up

First Camping trip of 2010

We took a weekend and planned to spend memorial weekend camping with Casey, but as the guys forgot half the food we only stayed one night. It was a little stressful at first with Star throwing up all over my coat and then jumping out of the car and Dave had to chase her down, but once we got her on a lease and Casey and Kim came back, it ended up being really fun.

Dave and Casey

Casey guy

Butch and Star playin

Butch just sat there with this face lol

Star cuddling

Lazy is not an option

I made a decision the other day that I think started me in the right direction.
I was so stressed out about all this drama and I decided the best and only thing to do is just remove myself from the situation. I notified the correct and appropriate people and I tell you the past 2 days have been better. I feel like I'm thinking clearer and already feel like I have a better attitude. I really do hope I made the right decision.

Struggles

Wedding and Baby season.... Normally a happy time. I have so many friends getting married or having babies... I just don't feel as happy as I should.

I just watched a good friend of mine bury thier newborn. It was a hard pregnacy with seizures and several complications, only to discover that their daughter had Edwards syndrome and lived 9 short hours.

That was so hard to see. And now there are several of my friends getting married, while I'm watching one of my so called "good friends" marriage possibly fall apart.

Its kinda depressing... I struggle with having to wait for my wedding, and I know that I won't be having a baby anytime soon.... But I want to. I'm soooo baby hungry and I see how happy everyone is and I want that day with Dave. I want him as my husband. Sigh. Guess my patience will have to stretch that much further.