My Little Woman

Who knew that it would hurt this much… I miss her so much! It’s hard to not have her to cuddle with and to love on. It hurts.  Though she was only with us 22 months her life was awesome. Here are some of the pictures I have of her.

Right after we brought her home

That night, my little piddle poo

She was tired. Took a nap with Daddy

Playing with Brother

Her cute little collar - pink camo

The first time Butch cuddled with her

She was so confused. Had no idea how he got in there.

My big girl growing up

Taking a nap

Cuddling with Mom

She hid there for hours. I couldn't find her.. she just slept

Playing with mom.. such a cuddle bug

Laying on mom

Relaxing in her corner

All grown up - but sick.

Playing outside with Dad one more time...

She was cold so Butch cuddled her

He took good care of her.

All grown up in her corner.

Cuddling with mom

Kisses for my Baby Girl

relaxing on the cool floor

Bynx loving her

Big girl with mom

One last picture with Dad

I bought these to go around her grave. They mean "I'm sorry Please forgive me."

RIP STAR Nov 16 2009 - Sept 16 2011

Mommy and Daddy miss you so much.

Love you

Struggling

Who knew that I would be on such an emotional roller coaster right now? I’m thankful for my level head in times like these. When I want to be mad, and all emotional, and feel hurt, my head steps in and tells me I’m being irrational and that I need to just chill out and look at things from a duel point of view.


There are 2 sides to everything. It’s not always easy to see, but its there. Thankfully I have some very loyal friends that are there to help smack me in the face with reality. I know that the people I love will not always be right, but I will still stand up for them, and then tell them they’re being dumb. I think the most important part of that though is that I realize that I am defending them out of loyalty and not for the wrong reason. Its hard sometimes to know the right reason but I think that as long as I know both sides that I can still be loyal and pick which battles to fight, and which to sit out.

I have a lot of obstacles in my path right now. The biggest one I’m staring at is a huge sinkhole. If I’m not careful with how I try to overcome it, I could fall in and be sucked down in. My baby Star is sick, and is dying from Kidney failure. The vet’s can’t see any reason for it other than Genetics. She can’t keep her food down, and she has no energy. I feel like I’ve failed her. She is the most amazing loving dog. And she is mine. I’ve had a lot of pets. I’ve had to put horses down, I watched a foal break its neck and we had to shoot it and bury it. I’ve had to pull a horse off of a T post that had impaled the horse through the heart, and bury her. I was there for my Dad when Tank, who was in pain from when his stomach flipped, was put down. I watched baby chickens get stepped on and we had to ring their necks so they wouldn’t suffer… I’ve seen a lot of death… But none of it is hitting me as hard as having to put Star down. She’s mine, and there is nothing I can do to help her other than put her down. She would otherwise suffer and hurt and she deserves so much better than that. This is the only thing I can give her… and I hate it.

The making of the music video "Lady Death" by Arsenic Addiction

We had the best time. :) Arsenic Addiction was one of the bands that helped the Salt City Bombers with the first fundraiser for Salty Horror. Lady Arsenic asked if 5 of the Bombers would be willing to be in their music video. WOULD WE!!! :) Kayla, Krystal, Shannon, Amanda, and I were the lucky 5 and we were so excited. Here's pictures of our adventure that day. BTW there is blood involved... and it was tasty!!

The band was up wayyyy to early and they went out to the Salt Flats to film the music footage as well as the before and after tea party.

Salt Flats Tea Party

We actually met up with everyone at Memory Grove. Though we all had wanted a specific look, we had to just deal with what we had. The Band was amazing. Some of the nicest people I met in a while. We got to the park and went through a walk through of the locations and what parts were going to be happening. Thankfully, we all had decided which of us 5 girls would do what scene. 

I got picked to do the first one, mostly because I was ready. Some of the other girls had other things planned that day, so I wanted to make sure they had time to get ready. They wanted simple make up, eyeliner and lipstick, so we all were good on that end. I had Trish come over that day to help me with my hair and make up (lets face it I suck at it still, but I'm learning!). I was the first to die, and I was killed by Plauge.  

He was going to poke me with a stick, but forgot the stick. So instead they told him to just look over me and try to look creepy.

Of course there had to be blood involved. Lady Arsenic had the most delicious recipe for it and thankfully

was gracious enough to let me have some. Mouthfull here we go :)

It gurgled out and they had a huge puddle on the groud. Thankfully I didn't have to get in the cold water, but considering how hot it was I would have if they asked me to. Instead I just had to not breath or blink. :)

Got blood on my lips

Butcher, Ripper, and crew

Shannon was girl #3 but they filmed her second. She is killed by Lady Arsenic herself in a tea party. Shannon got a hard part. She had to drink from the cup, spill the cup, then fall down really really slowly. They did so many takes!!! Shannon was amazing though :). 

Ripper getting into his bag of things....

Krystal looking nice and innocent

tee hee hee. My favorite by far

Kayla shot next. She was being killed by Ripper. She got to run up stairs looking really scared being followed by Ripper. 

so pretty :)

Amanda ended up shooting last, mostly because they had to change locations due to the sun shining way to brightly where they wanted to shoot at. She is killed by the Professor. This was perfect for her because he kills her while dancing and Amanda actually can dance. I'm so making her teach me :). 

awe sweet sentiments.

The last to die was Krystal. She is killed by the Butcher. I really wanted this one, but I'm thankful I didn't. She got covered in blood, and because Krystal is an MUA and has worked with the blood before she had an outfit that she could get drenched in and it would wash out. Plus she had so much fun with it. 

she had to hug everyone she could after that...

The finale of the day is Lady Arsenic's blood bath. I can say my wonderful planning with bringing extra water bottles helped to mix it. :) She loves this part. 

Afterward, Shannon had to leave to go help her kiddies. School the next day and all, and Kayla had plans so they headed off. Krystal, Amanda, and I stuck around for a while and the band had brought dinner. They were so nice to invite us to eat with them and whilst being attacked by bees, dogs, and ants it was really really good.

It was a lot of fun and I'm so thankful that the Bombers got to be a part of this. The band was awesome and so kind. I can't wait to work some more with them. :)