It's days like today that I need to remember my blessings the most. I've been really struggling lately with wanting so many things and having it all fall apart.
I've been working so hard to get out of debt. It's taking years but there was finally a dent! Everything seemed to be going great and then Sept hit. For some reason it just seemed like a way short month. We're behind now and its stressing me out to no end! All the hard work I've been doing and the crazy hours at work all down the drain. Stupid credit cards are back to outrageous amounts (I hate them. As soon as I can get rid of them they are going bye bye) and the big debts that are killing my credit are now worse. I just don't understand it. We cut our spending by more than half, both are working insane hours, almost never go out to eat anymore, and still nothing changes. Granted we've had to fix the truck and register the car. Still have to fix the car and register the truck.... Sigh... Seems like it never ends.
So I'm way stressed. It's getting to the point where I just want to cry all the time. So I tried to remember just how many good things I have. My friends, my cat, David, Cars that work.... we have our house and the monthly bills to live are paid... a good job, David's job. Definitely in a better spot than we were last year.
My friend Ariel got me a spot on a local radio station last Thursday. I sat there talking about my religion and being in harmony and Karma.... I realized that all this stress is throwing me out of whack. I'm not at peace I'm not in harmony. I've been really grumpy and my patience has thinned and I've been less than nice at work. Not exactly spreading good Karma.
I think I just need to relax this weekend. Try to not sweat it and do something fun. Everything will work out. I have David and he's more than I could ever hope for. I just need to enjoy his company and be with him. Just hard to be positive these days.... I feel like I'm drowning....
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