Prioratizing and being Thankful

I needed to vent.... I've been surrounded by drama that isn't mine, and its going to kill me. Between those that spend all their money on shit then bitch about not being able to pay their bills or buy food; and then there are those that are not taking their marriage vows seriously and causing all sorts of issues... retarded. I really don't get why Marriage causes so much drama.

Marriage should be an event that takes place in a relationship. It should bring the two people closer together not change them or cause issues. And that's a comitment you should take seriously. None of this is happening though. It really bothers me.

So this past week I just refused to talk to any of them and I found that I was a lot happier and had a better week. I was able to do better at work, so much though that it was noticed by more than one person.

Plus I've had some awesome photoshoots and to be honest I like doing it.. but i'm half and half on it. I think I'll get some way cute pictures of me and then call it good for a while. I enjoy the confidance boost but I'm not 100 percent sure on how Dave feels about it...

We are trying to plan a few get a ways :). I'm hoping that I can swap my work on the 11th for the 18th and if Tazia can house/puppy sit, Dave and I are going to drive down to Los Angeles and play on the beach for a day then come home. We're also planning a small weekend trip to Yellowstone Nat park and Kaycee WY to see Chris Ladoux's grave and memorial. i've seen pictures and I want to go see it in person. Way excited for those.

I really hate it when Dave is gone, I'm so happy he's back and home. I love him so much and I can't even imagine what life would be like without him. I hope I never find out.

I decided that I need to start hanging out with people that are less drama and more good karma. I am starting to hang with Whitney more, which I feel is a very good move. We have so much in common its scary and finally after trying so hard I have gotten through to her and she's let me in and started to trust me. I'm way excited about that.

I wish people would be more thankful for what they have. All the bitching and negativity really eats at you and I just get worn down by it. Its hard and honestly I'm done. Its all about me now and making sure that I am ok. Which means I'm starting several lists. One for stuff that I want for the house, and one for me. I want to start having nice clothes to look more professional. I am actually buying a black dress... yes a black dress, and experimenting with different makeup sceems and I am getting serious about working out. I want to look and feel amazing and I'm tired of just talkig about it. Its time to start doing it.

James and Mary's Wedding 06-11-10

So James got married.... trips me out still, but Mary is an absolute sweetheart and I'm exited to have her in my life. It rained the entire day, but it was so much fun and ended up being a beautiful day.

The Cake

The Ceremony with the Bishop, he was way funny

Her shoes rocked my world

First Dance.... totally not obvious how much they love each other

Awe.... James is all growed up

First Camping trip of 2010

We took a weekend and planned to spend memorial weekend camping with Casey, but as the guys forgot half the food we only stayed one night. It was a little stressful at first with Star throwing up all over my coat and then jumping out of the car and Dave had to chase her down, but once we got her on a lease and Casey and Kim came back, it ended up being really fun.

Dave and Casey

Casey guy

Butch and Star playin

Butch just sat there with this face lol

Star cuddling

Lazy is not an option

I made a decision the other day that I think started me in the right direction.
I was so stressed out about all this drama and I decided the best and only thing to do is just remove myself from the situation. I notified the correct and appropriate people and I tell you the past 2 days have been better. I feel like I'm thinking clearer and already feel like I have a better attitude. I really do hope I made the right decision.

Struggles

Wedding and Baby season.... Normally a happy time. I have so many friends getting married or having babies... I just don't feel as happy as I should.

I just watched a good friend of mine bury thier newborn. It was a hard pregnacy with seizures and several complications, only to discover that their daughter had Edwards syndrome and lived 9 short hours.

That was so hard to see. And now there are several of my friends getting married, while I'm watching one of my so called "good friends" marriage possibly fall apart.

Its kinda depressing... I struggle with having to wait for my wedding, and I know that I won't be having a baby anytime soon.... But I want to. I'm soooo baby hungry and I see how happy everyone is and I want that day with Dave. I want him as my husband. Sigh. Guess my patience will have to stretch that much further.

Birthday Party!!

I had a birthday party saturday the 15th and I was pleasantly surprised with the turn out. These wonderful women (and men) dragged their significant others all the way up here to my house and I was so thankful and excited to see them. I didn''t get pictures of my sister Tazia who brought my brother James, or Megan who stopped by with her husband Landon and our friend Joanne, or Lisa who came with her oldest son on her way to work. But they also need to be thanked. Granted some were not able to stay long but they made the effort and showed that means a lot to me.

My Cera Foo!!!!

My Christy (and Miss Miss)

Miss Miss and Christy :)

Me, Ariel, Misty, and Cat

Ariel as a sexy Belly Dancer

Miss is a sexy Cowgirl and Cat is Princess Ariel

Tiffany looking particularly scrumptous

Topher and Jessica :)

Cooper came and brought Scarlett

Words for thought.

As I was looking through facebook today I saw a status that said "Never make someone a priority when they only make you an option." Its interesting how so many things lately are pointing to the decision I need to make.

I've been struggling with a friend lately. We used to be as close as sisters and then something happened, something changed. I'm not sure what started it. Maybe it was when I decided to stop drinking.... I don't know. I do know that a changed haappened, and at first there was tension in the home and then we got kicked out and from that point the communication just stopped. Ended up there was issues at home she needed to take care of so I was hoping that wouls be it but then she just stopped talking to me. I tried inviting her out for girls nights, and every time there was an excuse as to why she couldn't go. I invite her to my birthday party and she tried to say I had never invited her, and after I reminded her of the numerous times we had talked about it, she still didn't show. So I tried yet again to invite her to go out and again I get an excuse as to why she can't go. 

I hear rumors about her telling people that its me that doesn't talk to her not the other way around and I've explained that the last time we talked she got in trouble so I am not going to invade her privacy and ask her things that she may not want to talk to about or even put her in that position. If she needs to talk I'll listen, but I am not going to pry about it when its none of my business anyways. It just seems like all my efforts are pointless. 

Then I have a friends that make special efforts to talk to me, and come see me. I had friends drive all the way to my house for even a small amount of time so that they could wish me a happy birthday. Those are the friends that I consider true friends. They made seeing me a priority and I will treat them with the same respect. And there are a few I feel I need to make priorities. 

I really like this saying and I am taking it to heart. The Goddess and the universe gives answers in many ways. I think this is one I need to pay special attention to.