Sometimes you just want a Root Beer

Every so often its good to sit and reflect on where you are at in life. This last weekend was a good reflection time. I was able to go out with friends and I had the best time ever. It was awesome. We went dancing and had an amazing time with what we call "the face". You need to Google that shit. Jenna Marbles "how to avoid talking to people you don't want to talk to". Amazing. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Its kept a smile on my face this week when I needed something to keep me going.

 

I've been looking at my friends, and the different kinds of relationships I have with them. Its weird to see how it grows as we get older. In high school we lived for our friends. No bills to pay, or mortgage to worry about. Just school and having fun. Who was going with who to what prom... Who was dating who. We had our whole lives ahead of us and we lived for our friends. Then as we get older things change. We have jobs. We settle down in relationships and get our own places. Kids pop into the picture and a whole new universe of worry and fear pop into our lives.

 

Life happens. With each new experience we become different people. Have different views, or change our minds. When that happens, friendships will change. Now this change isn't a bad thing. I've had a lot of these situations lately where I felt that my friends aren't the same people as they were and they changed, etc. Which was true, but I was looking at it in the negative sense. Instead I need to look at it in the light of, now since they have been through this I can get to know them all over again and rekindle the friendship. Its the same reason why you have to fight in a relationship. It wakes you up. Makes you appreciate and grow together. Provides that spark.

 

And as I reflect on these things and the friendships I have... I walk to the fridge for a Barq's root beer. Cold, cool, and refreshing. Yep it hits the mark and quenches my thirst. Sometimes, you just want a root beer.

 

Sometimes brushing a Cat makes you feel better.

I'm not gonna lie, I haven't been in the best of places lately. I haven't dealt very well with Star's death. Nope. I think I've been avoiding it. One thing I've noticed is that when I'm avoiding one thing and I shut myself down, I end up blocking a lot of other things as well. I know at 24 years old I should know who I am, and be the person I want to be and headed in the right direction. I shouldn't be looking at myself like I used to back in jr high and high school, analyzing myself and breaking myself down yet again, but here we are.

I'm a pretty open book. Always have been. However I have always felt that there was something missing. Like I was doing something wrong because I wasn't where I felt I was supposed to be. Now I think I'm doing to much. I'm a giver. Like my father. I'll invite a friend into my home if they needed a place to stay. I'll go out of my way to help people because that's what kind of person I am. However it seems that lately I'm getting the raw end and getting walked on. I don't want to change who I am, but maybe I need to take a step back and see who steps forward. My door is always open. I've got 10 different ways for people to get a hold of me. It shouldn't be hard. I don't want to make excuses for people anymore. I'm tired of it. I need to just be me and let others work for my friendship every once in a while... Or at least give them an opportunity to give back. I know things change. And people are constantly changing. I get that. Idk maybe that's me trying to justify it again... I'm just tired of feeling this way, but I don't want to be selfish. Maybe I just need to let some people go?

I know I've said this over and over and over, but I need to look after me. Take care of me for a while. Ugh! Just so frustrating. Its about this time when I'm getting upset once again that Bynx decides to be cute and come cuddle. So I grab his new brush and go at him. Not only does he look amazing, but brushing him is strangely calming. He's so cute. Always manages to pull at my heart strings. Our relationship is so simple. Just pure love. We love spending time together. Cuddling, brushing, petting (lmao), he's just perfect. He cuddles and comforts me when I'm sad. He's funny and cute when I need a pick me up. He's just adorable. How people can't just love cats I'll never know. He's my baby. Making him feel happy and loved makes me happy. If I'm lucky, every once in a while I get a kiss. Love it.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Artsy me!

Well I'm pretty excited. Dave was rumaging around the garage and is finding a ton of our stuff! He found my superman bag, its OD green and has a black superman on the front. I think I got it from spencers... anywho, lol. When I looked in it I found a sketch book that I had bought a while back, and in that also is 6 felt color markers and my 4 sized artist pens. HOW AWESOME!!! It also had my CBI name tag which is awesome.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, that moving really does make you realize just how much stuff you have, and it is a good opportunity to clean a lot of it out. However its also like a treasure hunt. You never know what cool things you are going to find while sorting through all your stuff.

The funny thing is that I actually have been thinking about trying to find one of my old sketch books to start drawing some sketches of clothes that I want to make. And I found a friend of mine that is getting rid of an old sewing machine too.

I really need to sit down and prioritize what I really want to do. I have so much on my plate. Don't get me wrong I love all of it. I have the Bombers, then I want to practice photography, design and make my own outfits, write a novel, start working out again, photoshoots, read, clean the house, go through all my clothes, write on here... lol. I have a lot.

The past few weeks have been the worst roller coaster I think I've ever had. I still am not sure what to make of it or what is going to happen. However we've been given an opportunity to make a change in our lives. I found an old blog I wrote before this one, and the one thing I've noticed is that the past 4 years have really been a vicious circle. So with this new opportunity I'm hoping that we will see a change for us. I'm not sure what all that change will entail, but I want it to be one that is the best for both of us. We'll have to see where that takes us.

Creaky houses

One thing I don't know I'll ever get used to is trying to get used to new houses. The smells, the sounds, all of it. Creepy. This house with where it sits you can hear everything. Like when I go in the backyard I can hear all my neighbors within a 2 house radius like they're next door. Its hard sometimes to distinguish what each sound is.

Inside the house is weird too. Being in the garage amplified everything you hear outside. We've heard gunshots a few times but we couldn't place where they came from.

The rest of the house is like a fort. The only place that really echo's is the swap cooler. All the noise comes down through there so you never know where its really coming from. Just weird to get used to this new house.

100th post... wow

This can't just be any post... it has to be epic. So I'm posting pictures of small finger monkeys. YEAH!!!!!

And to finish off... CASPER!!!

Putting things into perspective

Its 8 am in the morning, I haven't slept in 15 hours and I'm supposed to do things today. I'm ok with that though. I've been so worried about things lately that my mind is a mess and I feel like I could explode.

I was stalking people last night on blogger and ran into something interesting. A new friend that I've only met this year, a person that I don't know very well, has a blog. Well I've been able to spend more time with this person lately and I really care about her. I do. So I thought I'd blog stalk her. Wow. I went back to her first post and read through the first 2 years. It was like a book I couldn't put down. I could feel all the emotions... I even cried. I have an irresistible urge to hug her right now. Not just because of her trials, and the person she is, but because I have been through almost the exact same bull that she has. Right around the same time even. She's amazing. I'm really taken with her view on life and the positive energy she surrounds herself with. Eye opening really.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Salty Horror Fundraiser with the Salt City Bombers!!!

October 7th we went to the Circle Lounge and had a fundraiser for Salty Horror International Film Festival. What an awesome night. Here are some pics :)

The Girls of Salt City Bombers

Plauge from Arsenic Addiction made an appearance

Trent from work came :)

Freddy and Chucky

Mario with Salty Horror

I'm not creepy at all tee hee hee

I made a new friend and she tasted good

I ate the zombie

Mark was scared lol

Tamara and Kat

I'm a little bloody

Yeah new friend Dani

Kassie and Steve

Becky and Amanda