Time for Heather

So all my worrying finally got to everyone, especially me. Nervous breakdown here I come... Soooooo my boss and Dave decided to intervene.

I realized that all my worrying, and trying to be in control wasn't helping. I'm very much a person that likes to be in control. I'm very gung ho and want to keep things moving, taking it to the max, but my issue was that I was trying to do that with a situation that I have absolutely no control over. Very stressful especially since nothing was changing! So I decided to take a small step back and let Dave take control. By doing what I was doing I was stressing not only myself out, but Dave as well which only made matters worse.

Its very weird to not be in control, makes me nervous, but I realized that is why I have Dave! I'm supposed to let him take control so that he can take care of me. All he asks of me is to be happy. That way when he comes home stressed he can cuddle and relax with happy me and that makes him happy.

So that is what I am trying to do. I joined Shelfari.com, which got me motivated to read more. I went and bought some very helpful books, and a small journal to write out the helpful points and exercises for me.

This is the journal. Celtic on it. Very Pretty

I also went and got my hair done and got half of my tattoo shaded in. It's kind of funny, everyone keeps commenting on the color but they don't realize that the red is really just blood. I just irritated it to the max. The funny thing about getting the shading done was that part of it tickled like none other! Never had it tickle before.

Red Hair

One big point that I like is trying to start my day off peacefully. So I've slowly started these 10 min workouts every day before I shower. I figure I spend 10 min watching TV why not put it to use! So I'm going to continue doing that. I also bought me the toothpaste I want, and got Dave the kind he likes. I got some different things to get my face cleared up and my whole focus is to make me feel and look better.

Plus by getting up a little earlier I can go outside and play with Star and Butch. Even if its just picking up the yard, its very healthy to get at least 5 min of regualar sun. So I figure that's oh an extra 20 min early? Not to shabby all things considering.

The first day of the rest of my life.

I am having the best day. I don't know why but I woke up just in a good mood. It could due to the fact I slept all day yesterday and actually got good sleep. Whatever the reason I just feel good, motivated, and in a loving mood.

Keyword:TIME MANAGEMENT. I need to learn and practice it. I spent the weekend working, as usual, except Saturday. Saturday I spent sleeping and with Dave. We had food and brownies and watched a movie and then today I got some seriously needed cuddle time. It seriously was needed badly and I loved it. Granted it wasn't very long but it was perfect. Made for an excellent start for the day. Yes, I didn't get to see any of my girls, but I needed the time with Dave and I know they understand.

So I decided that I need to figure out my calendar a bit better. Its why I bought one after all. So my plan for the time management is for my girls that I need to see (you know who you are) I can plan girls nights with. However, I will need to do them on weekends that we don't have the kids, or whatever we're planning will need to be after they go to bed. Or for my girls that I can do lunches with we can plan them in the mornings and I'll jsut wake up earlier. Then I'll also plan them around my time with Dave. We're going to take every minute we can get. So that may mean I'm waking up earlier or staying up a bit longer. 

As for me. I started today getting the tattoo that I have been waiting for months to get, and let me tell you it was all worth it. Sarah knew exactly what I was needing. Its a Goddess symbol where the moons on the side have been interwined into a Celtic knot. 

The woman herself, represents the Goddess, a strong, powerful woman. The Spiral inside of her means healing.

The moons, if you look closely are different. They represent the different sides of a situation.

Then on both sides, framing the rose they end in a heart. Meaning that no matter what way you choose the end should end in love, or good karma.

This is to always remind me that I need to keep positive and do what I think is right. No matter who or what the circumstance. We're going to make it look like stone. This is just the outline. Its going to look amazing when its done. I couldn't be happier with it. Sarah got it right on the money.

I always want to have good karma in my life. Life is to short to waste it on drama and negative things. I'd rather focus on life with Dave and the kids making every moment count. They are my life and the people I've been close with are so amazing and I am so blessed to have them around me.

I do want to improve on myself though. I'm getting my hair done really pretty and I need to continue to work out. I need to start studing my German. Its really important to me to learn it. It my family language and I want to teach my kids how to speak it. I need to start a schedule to keep it going. Dedicate time and effort to it.

I am looking forward to this next year though. As long as Dave and I continue to budget as we have been I should hopefully be able to return to school and get a law degree. Once I have that I am hoping to get on here at England so that I don't have to change jobs just different departments.

Life is just looking good to me today and I am so looking forward to the future.

Goals!

So today I saw Sports Illustrated Cheerleader of the Week and oh my talk about motivation! Her abs are the most amazing thing I've ever seen!

I'm definitely working more towards what I want to be. I know that I love my long hair. I do need to start trying to master the "ratting" technique, It will give me some volume. I'm going to keep it at this lighter blond color, I really like it. I'm definitely playing with colors but with the addition of my new tattoo I'm quickly becoming attached to blue. I'm still going to have to work with the make up but I'm at least headed in the right direction.
I got some weights tonight so that I can work more with weights. I need to really work my arms... get my arms nice and strong. And I need to start running or walking... I got this magazine that has some way good healthy easy tips on beating the belly bulge. So I'm going to be working more towards eating better and working those arms!

One way good tip is to watch yourself in a mirror when you workout. I know it sounds retarded but if you are watching yourself you can see your movements making sure that you are working the right muscles and making the correct movements.