Green! Green! Green!

Happy Saint Patricks day! The day of the Irish! Whoot Whoot! Today was an amazing day, I so got all dressed up and festive.

I so slept in past both my alarms, which sucked, but I think my body is just exhausted. But I got up and dressed up anyways. Miss Miss and I went with her mom to see Alice and Wonderland 3D. It was so good. I loved it and will definately see it again. 

Then we went to Miss's place and I got to see her puppy!!! Oh I just want to steal him and keep him. He is so cute and little, made my day. :)

From there they were going to dinner so I went to Ariel's house for a party that totally was so much fun. I got there and Jenny and Amanda was there. Bj and Mike and Cory showed up a bit later. I was a bit wary with Amanda being there but I actually had a way good time. It was nice to talk about good times we had. Other than I think her neighbors will permanently hate us lol It was a lot of fun. Plus I made it home safe and sound and got to put Dave to bed. So a good end to a good day.  

First hockey game!

Dave and I went on a date night tonight. Misty and Russ invited us to go to the Grizzly's game. We'd been thinking that we needed to go do more things together so this was a perfect opportunity. We invited Cooper and Scarlett, who were more than happy to come. I guess Cooper is just as much a hockey fanatic as Misty is.

So Dave and I started the night off eating dinner at TGI Fridays. It was wonderful.

Cooper got us Center seats and Misty and Russ showed up a bit late, they had been picking up their new baby pug. :)

The game was so violent! We had 2 fights, where they had to be placed in the penalty box and the one guy from Stockton got screamed at by the referee.

We sat behind this kid that I swear had the worst attitude ever! He was growling at us and rude and mean... Dave felt bad for the kid's dad.

Misty is friends with the lady that helps train the team, so she got her jersey signed by the team and got it today. That mean little kid shut up instantly when he saw it then threw a fit when his dad told him he couldn't have one.

I've never been a big sports person, but I have a feeling I'm going to become one. I almost bought a hoodie with the Grizzly's logo on it, but decided I really didn't need a new hoodie right now.

Then we ended the night going to Wal-mart to get groceries and then home to eat a snack of cheddar little weinies with BBQ sauce.... hmmmm yum.

I'd say it was a down right fantastic day.

Gabby's 8th Birthday

Gabby is one spoiled little girl. She got at least 3 parties this year. First we were going to just do cake and ice cream at our house for Dad's family party on the 6th, but mom decided to take them to a family party at her Grandma's house. SO..... since that was my only oportunity to see her I took what I could and we had her open some of her presents then so that I could be there. She wore her new pink horse shirt and I pulled her hair back in a braid complete with a pink headband and pink hair tie. Then we painted her nails metallic pink so that she was pretty to go to her party.

The kids were a little upset that Dad and I wouldn't be there. They still are trying to adjust to having the 2 seperate homes. So we again had to have a talk about how they have a party with Mom and mom's family and a party with Dad and Heather and their families. That's a hard talk to have. 

On her actual birthday her Mom went and took her to Chucky cheese to play for a bit then brought the kids over to our house. I got to work since it was a weekday so I didn't get to be there, but Dave's mom came by with Aspen and they opened presents and had Chocolate cake and ice cream. Dave did a good job taking pictures considering he's not a picture taking kinda person. I was glad I got the pictures at least. 

This was her favorite.

Gandma and Grandpa gave her a lot of horse books

My friend Trish, bless her heart, got Gabby a present and Gabby loved it! Even though I'm still struggling with the ex I can be grateful that at least the kids lives have improved greatly. We see them on a regular basis and we're able to give them these birthdays and holidays that they otherwise wouldn't get to have. That makes it worth it at least.

February... a Month for new beginnings

So one of my goals this year is to really get into the study of Wicca, so when is a better time to start than the festival of Imbolc! This is a festival for new beginnings. There have been a lot of weddings and pregnancies announced lately and though Dave and I are not announcing anything I still wanted to have my own beginning. So with these new changes I hope that we will all see a happier, healthier, and much more less stressful and peaceful Heather.

The one thing that is going to be hard for me that I'm not sure how I'll do it is I'm going to try and forgive my step-dad. He is honestly the most negative asshole I have ever met. Trying to make it work these past 6 years has not worked and its not been easy either. In fact the other day I was told how much of a freak I am and how messed up I am. Well I'm done. I'm done keeping quiet, I'm done trying. Nothing I will ever do will change that because he is to stubborn to change. He created the lies and he will have to live with them. The family knows that he is lying and I know. My struggle is going to try and forgive him for all of that. It will never be ok between us, but if I can forgive him then that will at least be one less stress on my conscious.

I do need to get up and work out BEFORE work. I've been coming home from work and actually sleeping. So I need to work out before I go in and that way it helps wake me up too! I also need to start eating better. Yogurts, whole grains, salads, that kinda stuff. That will help me feel better too. 

I also need to start thinking more of what I am thankful for. With so much negativity around I do need to be more thankful for the wonderful life that I have with Dave. 

I'm going to try and have more girl time and keep my friends close. I have 2 wonderful girls in my life that I will hopefully get closer to in the next months to add to my small circle. I need to start reaching out to the girls I have as well. I know that'll mean getting up early but honestly I just might need that. Go to bed at a decent hour. Let puppy out so she can run and be free and enjoy herself, clean up the back yard.... something... Sounds good actually. Plus it'll be good for when the kids are over. 

Well here goes. I'm going to try it. See what comes of it. I need some peace and happiness and I need to feel better about myself. Its about damn time.  

Needing a Change

I've been thinking a lot about things in my life. I have felt a lot of stress lately and feel like I need a change. The problem is I just don't know where that change needs to happen. I started with myself.

I need to start working out again. Especially since it feels like my tendonitis has come back with a vengence in my right knee. It has been killing me! Plus I have a small goal to meet so that I can do a summer bikini modeling shoot with my friends, and trust me I have a long way to go yet. Then I've been talking with my aunt and I think I'm going to do something with my hair.

I have also decided to focus more on my Wicca studies. A good friend gave me a book this year for Christmas called "Wicca: a year and a day". It is a book dedicated to a year and a day of spiritual study. I am going to take the challenge and dedicate myself to it. This will be a year of cleansing myself, my Aura, my house, and helping to cleanse Dave's as well. I'm going to be studying Aura's and Charka's as well and hopefully only improve my Karma and bring good things to our home.

Then I've looked at things that have been bugging both Dave and I. I think with that there are still plenty of talks to come. Decisions that we will need to make on what we are doing from here. Nothing with our relationship - no worries there. Actually tomorrow is our 2nd Anniversary and I'm totally in love with this man. I love that he's mine. Looking forward to many more of those.

This is more along the lines of time management and the company we keep. Making sure that we keep only good things in our lives. This also includes a bit more of eating and living healthier.

Its been bugging me on how people can change so fast. Like the people who act one way then get married and change into a person that was never seen during the dating scene. isn't the point of dating to get to know the person to see if you will be compatible. How is any relationship going to work if you don't really know the person? Doesn't make a whole lot of sence to me.

Then you have people that your close to like friends that change suddenly. There is always that awkward time period where you know that the relationship has changed, but you act like it hasn't and slowly alienate from them and then eventually just don't ever see them again.

Life is just weird. Lots on my mind.

Busy way to start a year.

Wow, crazy first few days for this new year. Monday I took Star to the vet to finally get all of her shots. Thankfully that's done with. Now its just deciding if we are going to get her fixed or not. It could cost between $200-$300 to get it done. We could go cheap and get the microchip done later, but my thing is that when I took Bynx to get it, it hurt him really bad and I don't think I could watch that again... better to have it when she's knocked out and can't feel it.

Star has this split personality it seems. When I'm home she is well behaved and loving and plays, and she listens to me. When Dave is home she pees in the house chews on things and just frustrates him. Just this last 2 days she chewed Dave's 2 pairs of shoes and got into his lincoln logs. I think she is bored. She has a ton of energy and Butch is old, so he can only do so much. So we're going to get a Kennel to keep her in if we decide to leave her in the house and we are going to finish the half shed that our ex-roomate started so that she has an outside one too. We have to check the fence and fix the few holes in it so that we can leave her out there. That would be much better than keeping her cooped up in the house all day. She's made friends with the dogs behind the house they play through the fence. Plus as she gets bigger her husky coat is going to get thicker and being outside at night or in winter would feel better to her, and staying inside during the summer. Plus in the summer we can take her to parks and she can run around there. Get her exercise. 

I had 2 days at court this week. First was a hearing for Dad to try and get disability. I think it went well. The judge was nice and the information given was very informative. I honestly wish I could've asked questions to better understand what all the Medical expert was saying, but I understood for the most part. We have up to 90 days to get a verdict. The judge wanted to go over all the evidence and testimony again before making a decision. Smart guy. I like that he does that so that the people that do get it deserve it and it gives him an opportunity to weed out people that are trying to live off the system. It does suck that it takes so long, but what are you gonna do? Gotta take the good with the bad. So we'll see how that goes. 

The second was for this accident I witnessed. I was headed to work on a friday and saw a semi merge into this lane and cause this girl to crash. It turns out that her dad works for CR England too! lol Small world, and I got up and told the judge strictly what I saw and heard and nothing more. None of my opinions or speculations just facts. The driver and highway patrolman didn't show. So the judge ruled that she had not done what she had been cited with and dismissed the ticket. Lucky for the girl her insurance also ruled her not at fault. I guess the driver wouldn't give them a statement and just a few things weren't adding up. So she got off easy. 

Dave's been working as hard as ever. Had another car break, but this time its going to cost $4000 to fix. Crazy. I don't understand how these guys at his work can't just follow protocol. Dave's rules are that if anything happens to a car you write an incident report and file a police report so that he has something to give to the insurance company to file a claim with. Well this didn't happen and because it didn't he has to figure out $4000 for repairs instead of handing a police report over to the insurance company and paying $500. Stupid in my opinion. It amazes me how people just don't take care of themselves and file these reports. It doesn't take that long to do so.

So my next thing is Dave's and I's anniversary. 2 years.... Crazy how time flies. We'll have had Butch for 2 years and he's almost 4 years old now. Bynx is 3 years old... Crazy how much time has gone by. I am pleased to say that Dave and mine's relationship is so much stronger now and I'm pleased with how things are proceeding. I'm so excited for the day I can say I'm his wife. What an honor that will be. He is seriously the most unselfish - self giving man I know. I try and spoil him as much as I can. It astounds me when I hear how he was treated with Shannon and her family, and how much he has changed since then. He finally knows that he is an amazing dad, and that his kids love him and that his opinion matters and what he feels matters. He's an equal part in this and he's happy. He finally opened up about it a bit and it really opened my eyes. Brought a lot of understanding with it as well. I'm so thankful that he is at a place of healing that he can share that with me. He really doesn't know how amazing he is. I have no idea what we're going to do for our anniversary. Money is tight so we're limited with what we can do. I'm hoping to come up with some money to take him to dinner. Or maybe we'll just go to wendover and use the present dad gave us. Dave can get ribs and I can get my prime rib. Each take $20 to play the penny slots lol free drinks while we play. One night away would be ok... But with the issues we've been having with Star I'm not sure if that would be ok. Maybe Tazia would come and watch them... could happen. I'll have to ask.   

2010.... What the future will bring.

Crazy how this last year has flown by. I guess that's what happens when you get busy. Luckily as we enter this new year I can say that we have our home, our vehicles, our jobs, most importantly we have each other. I love David so much and each day with him is just more and more wonderful.

This new year I hope that our financial situation will improve. Hopefully. I'm looking forward to a crosss country trip that I hope we will get to take. For Christmas Dave's parents gave us year passes to all the state and federal parks. So we get in for free. How awesome is that? We will get to take the kids places and have a good time. Plus Dave gave me a video camera so I'll for sure get good uses out of it.

I'm looking forward to spending more time with Gabby. I spend time with other's kids and I see how kids act around this time of year, and remember how I was when I was little. I just look and remember all that and it just makes me more thankful for these 2 kids. They are so amazing. I have no idea how Dave and Shannon did it, but I do have to give them credit. These kids are amazing. Polite, well behaved, you name it. I just look at Gabby though.... she needs a good woman influence. Someone to have girls night out with, to go do things with. I want to do that with her. I'd love having her in my home. I can't wait for the day she will be. Its just a waiting game.

So far with the start of this year my cousin Nathan got married to Crystal. From the pictures it looked like it was so fun. I wasn't able to go due to work, but it looks like it went well.

Also my friend Jackki got married. I met her back when I was in Girl Scouts. We went to day camp and gave ourselves hickys (didn't know that was what it was at the time) so that we could sit in the nurse's stand and not have to go do some of the activites. Lol we were so little kids. She found me on facebook and I was lucky enough to go see her on her wedding day.

I got to hang out with Kortnie. I haven't seen her since I was little and she also found me. She has 2 little girls that are amazing, they look just like her.

One sad note was that a kid I grew up with Ian Busch, accidently shot and killed his best friend. So I get to go to a funeral.

On top of that I have 2 days of court. First is for Dad's disability (lets hope he gets it) and the second is to testify for an accident I witnessed. Hopefully they will go smoothly.

One thing I am looking forward to is my new tattoo. Sarah is drawing it up for me now and as soon as she is done we're adding it to my right arm. I'm way excited for it.

I hope to focus more on Wicca this year as well. Do more to give back. I want to be ok enough to participate in the Sub for Santa programs. I want to read more this year and broaden my mind. I'd love to get a keyboard and practice my piano and get better with that. I do want to exercise more as well. My knees hurt a lot and I need to stretch them out more and strengthen my muscles, get the body back that I want.

I'm torn with family. I want to be apart of it more, but I don't want all the negative that comes with it though. I love doing things with my family, but I'm tired of all the negative and hurtful things they say about Dave. He's just as much a part of the family as I am. I just wished that they would see that. Maybe this year they will.