Wedding and Baby season.... Normally a happy time. I have so many friends getting married or having babies... I just don't feel as happy as I should.
I just watched a good friend of mine bury thier newborn. It was a hard pregnacy with seizures and several complications, only to discover that their daughter had Edwards syndrome and lived 9 short hours.
That was so hard to see. And now there are several of my friends getting married, while I'm watching one of my so called "good friends" marriage possibly fall apart.
Its kinda depressing... I struggle with having to wait for my wedding, and I know that I won't be having a baby anytime soon.... But I want to. I'm soooo baby hungry and I see how happy everyone is and I want that day with Dave. I want him as my husband. Sigh. Guess my patience will have to stretch that much further.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Birthday Party!!
I had a birthday party saturday the 15th and I was pleasantly surprised with the turn out. These wonderful women (and men) dragged their significant others all the way up here to my house and I was so thankful and excited to see them. I didn''t get pictures of my sister Tazia who brought my brother James, or Megan who stopped by with her husband Landon and our friend Joanne, or Lisa who came with her oldest son on her way to work. But they also need to be thanked. Granted some were not able to stay long but they made the effort and showed that means a lot to me.
My Cera Foo!!!!
My Christy (and Miss Miss)
Miss Miss and Christy :)
Me, Ariel, Misty, and Cat
Ariel as a sexy Belly Dancer
Miss is a sexy Cowgirl and Cat is Princess Ariel
Tiffany looking particularly scrumptous
Topher and Jessica :)
Cooper came and brought Scarlett
Words for thought.
As I was looking through facebook today I saw a status that said "Never make someone a priority when they only make you an option." Its interesting how so many things lately are pointing to the decision I need to make.
I've been struggling with a friend lately. We used to be as close as sisters and then something happened, something changed. I'm not sure what started it. Maybe it was when I decided to stop drinking.... I don't know. I do know that a changed haappened, and at first there was tension in the home and then we got kicked out and from that point the communication just stopped. Ended up there was issues at home she needed to take care of so I was hoping that wouls be it but then she just stopped talking to me. I tried inviting her out for girls nights, and every time there was an excuse as to why she couldn't go. I invite her to my birthday party and she tried to say I had never invited her, and after I reminded her of the numerous times we had talked about it, she still didn't show. So I tried yet again to invite her to go out and again I get an excuse as to why she can't go.
I hear rumors about her telling people that its me that doesn't talk to her not the other way around and I've explained that the last time we talked she got in trouble so I am not going to invade her privacy and ask her things that she may not want to talk to about or even put her in that position. If she needs to talk I'll listen, but I am not going to pry about it when its none of my business anyways. It just seems like all my efforts are pointless.
Then I have a friends that make special efforts to talk to me, and come see me. I had friends drive all the way to my house for even a small amount of time so that they could wish me a happy birthday. Those are the friends that I consider true friends. They made seeing me a priority and I will treat them with the same respect. And there are a few I feel I need to make priorities.
I really like this saying and I am taking it to heart. The Goddess and the universe gives answers in many ways. I think this is one I need to pay special attention to.
I've been struggling with a friend lately. We used to be as close as sisters and then something happened, something changed. I'm not sure what started it. Maybe it was when I decided to stop drinking.... I don't know. I do know that a changed haappened, and at first there was tension in the home and then we got kicked out and from that point the communication just stopped. Ended up there was issues at home she needed to take care of so I was hoping that wouls be it but then she just stopped talking to me. I tried inviting her out for girls nights, and every time there was an excuse as to why she couldn't go. I invite her to my birthday party and she tried to say I had never invited her, and after I reminded her of the numerous times we had talked about it, she still didn't show. So I tried yet again to invite her to go out and again I get an excuse as to why she can't go.
I hear rumors about her telling people that its me that doesn't talk to her not the other way around and I've explained that the last time we talked she got in trouble so I am not going to invade her privacy and ask her things that she may not want to talk to about or even put her in that position. If she needs to talk I'll listen, but I am not going to pry about it when its none of my business anyways. It just seems like all my efforts are pointless.
Then I have a friends that make special efforts to talk to me, and come see me. I had friends drive all the way to my house for even a small amount of time so that they could wish me a happy birthday. Those are the friends that I consider true friends. They made seeing me a priority and I will treat them with the same respect. And there are a few I feel I need to make priorities.
I really like this saying and I am taking it to heart. The Goddess and the universe gives answers in many ways. I think this is one I need to pay special attention to.
A wonderful weekend :)
My weekends always start on a Saturday. The kids were just so full of energy, I'm guessing because this is the first time in a while that they weren't sick. All they asked was to go outside, but due to the rain, Dave and I didn't want them out there only to get sick again... So once the rain stopped Dave suggested we go for a drive. Magical words lol. We drove up trapper's and around Causey for a bit. Wonderful country. I love how green Utah is.
So after that we came home and Dave found the rims we needed for the motorhome for $50. All 6 for $50. How awesome is that. They are usually $50 a piece. So while Dave went to get those I got ready to go to Megan's birthday party. She's such a good friend. I had a really good time dancing and getting all dressed up for a night.
Then today was just a nice and easy day. I've been trying to find a USB memory stick I haven't seen in a while. I thought I left it at work but I couldnt find it there... so I've been tearing the house apart and I can't find it here either. Really startig to annoy me. I have no idea where it is and it has valuable info on it. I thought maybe I vacuumed it up, which would suck. I'm debating on going through my vacuum to check.... But it could be in the last bag and that one is at the dump somewhere.... sigh guess i'll have to wait and see....
So after that we came home and Dave found the rims we needed for the motorhome for $50. All 6 for $50. How awesome is that. They are usually $50 a piece. So while Dave went to get those I got ready to go to Megan's birthday party. She's such a good friend. I had a really good time dancing and getting all dressed up for a night.
Then today was just a nice and easy day. I've been trying to find a USB memory stick I haven't seen in a while. I thought I left it at work but I couldnt find it there... so I've been tearing the house apart and I can't find it here either. Really startig to annoy me. I have no idea where it is and it has valuable info on it. I thought maybe I vacuumed it up, which would suck. I'm debating on going through my vacuum to check.... But it could be in the last bag and that one is at the dump somewhere.... sigh guess i'll have to wait and see....
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Birthday Weekend
I made a goal that this weekend would be one of goal setting and reflection. I can't decide if I want to get braces and fix my teeth or if I want to get back into school. I think I'll have to start with seeing if I'll even be able to get into school. I need to get up to Weber and see what my chances are and go from there. I'd love to get back into school, but I'm not sure what I need to do to get in there.
My body is something that is very important to me. I'm going to start walking up and down stairs with weights on my feet to start helping get rid of my belly. I want to have my body back and that is something I have always said but have done very little. I do have a very hyper dog, what other excuse do I need?
I did finally clean my car out. Spent some time with it making sure I got as much hair as I could and all the dirt. Threw away all the garbage and vacuumed it out. I then got as much dirt as I could off the hard surfaces with green apple fabuloso. It smells nice in there now and looks a million times better. I also got all the laundry done today. Clean clothes galore! We don't have enough hangers for them all.
For Mother's Day we woke up with Brad sick. He threw up all over the floor and in the bathroom and got several bloody noses. I don't understand why they are always sick! I invested in lysol and we spray their toys and room and all the doors down both before and after they are here. We make them blow their noses and take medicine and wash their hands and they usually feel better. It just isn't that hard. So we cleaned him up and I went to Jen's house while Dave stayed home and cleaned the yard and house up.
Grandma Rudy had come up from mesquite. Her husband has always been a little off. Its awkward when he's around. Great Grandma asked who I was (she's 90 so its ok) and I said I'm Heather, Les's Heather, and Bob (my grandma's husband) was all "well technically your Elise's heather" so I said no I'm Les's Heather for all intents of purpose. And he mumbled something. K I know I'm at odds with Les but Great Grandma doesn't need to know that. She's 90... If that is how she remembers me then hoopde do.... good hell. He's weird. But anywho, I got to spend some time with my cousins and Tazia and James and Curtis came so I got to see them and that is what I wanted. Brettney even came. I haven't seen her in forever.
So after that I came home and we went to Smith's got dinner and the carpet cleaner. I need to just get one, $50 a pop I could've owned one by now. I'll have to check into that new Bissell. Or that little Green one. I liked those, or at least from what they show on TV. We moved all the furniture out of the living room and vacuumed the house then cleaned the living room and the kids room. So all the pee fromthe dogs, cat throw up, kid throw up, and who knows what all else finally got picked up and taken care of. So after the cleaning our house smells soooo much better.
The wind is really picking up today. It opened the garage door outside and it sounded like someone was out there, so I made Star go out with me to lock it up. I just love her. She's getting so big!! I still need to give her a bath though.
Monday, Dave came home early and gave me my present early. Reebok EZ tone shoes :) I love them!!
I went with Dad to see Clash of the Titans, and what a good show. I really enjoyed it. Then I got home just in time to feed Dave then out the door for the Paramore concert. It was actually pretty decent, and I had fun with everyone. Mom gave me some pretty blue shirts with a pretty necklace :).
Misty had gone to California over the weekend and brought me back some presents. :)
And today was all about me for me. My Sarah Foo shaded the other half of my arm and I went home to find Dave had gotten me the prettiest flowers and the most awesomest card. Then his parents brought me a windchime, its so beautiful. It was a fantastic weekend.
My body is something that is very important to me. I'm going to start walking up and down stairs with weights on my feet to start helping get rid of my belly. I want to have my body back and that is something I have always said but have done very little. I do have a very hyper dog, what other excuse do I need?
I did finally clean my car out. Spent some time with it making sure I got as much hair as I could and all the dirt. Threw away all the garbage and vacuumed it out. I then got as much dirt as I could off the hard surfaces with green apple fabuloso. It smells nice in there now and looks a million times better. I also got all the laundry done today. Clean clothes galore! We don't have enough hangers for them all.
For Mother's Day we woke up with Brad sick. He threw up all over the floor and in the bathroom and got several bloody noses. I don't understand why they are always sick! I invested in lysol and we spray their toys and room and all the doors down both before and after they are here. We make them blow their noses and take medicine and wash their hands and they usually feel better. It just isn't that hard. So we cleaned him up and I went to Jen's house while Dave stayed home and cleaned the yard and house up.
Grandma Rudy had come up from mesquite. Her husband has always been a little off. Its awkward when he's around. Great Grandma asked who I was (she's 90 so its ok) and I said I'm Heather, Les's Heather, and Bob (my grandma's husband) was all "well technically your Elise's heather" so I said no I'm Les's Heather for all intents of purpose. And he mumbled something. K I know I'm at odds with Les but Great Grandma doesn't need to know that. She's 90... If that is how she remembers me then hoopde do.... good hell. He's weird. But anywho, I got to spend some time with my cousins and Tazia and James and Curtis came so I got to see them and that is what I wanted. Brettney even came. I haven't seen her in forever.
So after that I came home and we went to Smith's got dinner and the carpet cleaner. I need to just get one, $50 a pop I could've owned one by now. I'll have to check into that new Bissell. Or that little Green one. I liked those, or at least from what they show on TV. We moved all the furniture out of the living room and vacuumed the house then cleaned the living room and the kids room. So all the pee fromthe dogs, cat throw up, kid throw up, and who knows what all else finally got picked up and taken care of. So after the cleaning our house smells soooo much better.
The wind is really picking up today. It opened the garage door outside and it sounded like someone was out there, so I made Star go out with me to lock it up. I just love her. She's getting so big!! I still need to give her a bath though.
Monday, Dave came home early and gave me my present early. Reebok EZ tone shoes :) I love them!!
I went with Dad to see Clash of the Titans, and what a good show. I really enjoyed it. Then I got home just in time to feed Dave then out the door for the Paramore concert. It was actually pretty decent, and I had fun with everyone. Mom gave me some pretty blue shirts with a pretty necklace :).
Misty had gone to California over the weekend and brought me back some presents. :)
And today was all about me for me. My Sarah Foo shaded the other half of my arm and I went home to find Dave had gotten me the prettiest flowers and the most awesomest card. Then his parents brought me a windchime, its so beautiful. It was a fantastic weekend.
These flowers are my favorite.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Time for Heather
So all my worrying finally got to everyone, especially me. Nervous breakdown here I come... Soooooo my boss and Dave decided to intervene.
I realized that all my worrying, and trying to be in control wasn't helping. I'm very much a person that likes to be in control. I'm very gung ho and want to keep things moving, taking it to the max, but my issue was that I was trying to do that with a situation that I have absolutely no control over. Very stressful especially since nothing was changing! So I decided to take a small step back and let Dave take control. By doing what I was doing I was stressing not only myself out, but Dave as well which only made matters worse.
Its very weird to not be in control, makes me nervous, but I realized that is why I have Dave! I'm supposed to let him take control so that he can take care of me. All he asks of me is to be happy. That way when he comes home stressed he can cuddle and relax with happy me and that makes him happy.
So that is what I am trying to do. I joined Shelfari.com, which got me motivated to read more. I went and bought some very helpful books, and a small journal to write out the helpful points and exercises for me.
I also went and got my hair done and got half of my tattoo shaded in. It's kind of funny, everyone keeps commenting on the color but they don't realize that the red is really just blood. I just irritated it to the max. The funny thing about getting the shading done was that part of it tickled like none other! Never had it tickle before.
One big point that I like is trying to start my day off peacefully. So I've slowly started these 10 min workouts every day before I shower. I figure I spend 10 min watching TV why not put it to use! So I'm going to continue doing that. I also bought me the toothpaste I want, and got Dave the kind he likes. I got some different things to get my face cleared up and my whole focus is to make me feel and look better.
Plus by getting up a little earlier I can go outside and play with Star and Butch. Even if its just picking up the yard, its very healthy to get at least 5 min of regualar sun. So I figure that's oh an extra 20 min early? Not to shabby all things considering.
I realized that all my worrying, and trying to be in control wasn't helping. I'm very much a person that likes to be in control. I'm very gung ho and want to keep things moving, taking it to the max, but my issue was that I was trying to do that with a situation that I have absolutely no control over. Very stressful especially since nothing was changing! So I decided to take a small step back and let Dave take control. By doing what I was doing I was stressing not only myself out, but Dave as well which only made matters worse.
Its very weird to not be in control, makes me nervous, but I realized that is why I have Dave! I'm supposed to let him take control so that he can take care of me. All he asks of me is to be happy. That way when he comes home stressed he can cuddle and relax with happy me and that makes him happy.
So that is what I am trying to do. I joined Shelfari.com, which got me motivated to read more. I went and bought some very helpful books, and a small journal to write out the helpful points and exercises for me.
This is the journal. Celtic on it. Very Pretty
I also went and got my hair done and got half of my tattoo shaded in. It's kind of funny, everyone keeps commenting on the color but they don't realize that the red is really just blood. I just irritated it to the max. The funny thing about getting the shading done was that part of it tickled like none other! Never had it tickle before.
Red Hair
One big point that I like is trying to start my day off peacefully. So I've slowly started these 10 min workouts every day before I shower. I figure I spend 10 min watching TV why not put it to use! So I'm going to continue doing that. I also bought me the toothpaste I want, and got Dave the kind he likes. I got some different things to get my face cleared up and my whole focus is to make me feel and look better.
Plus by getting up a little earlier I can go outside and play with Star and Butch. Even if its just picking up the yard, its very healthy to get at least 5 min of regualar sun. So I figure that's oh an extra 20 min early? Not to shabby all things considering.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Easter!!!!
I earned a whole new respect for my mom this Easter weekend. Wow. 4 kids and candy equals one big head ache. The kids had a lot of fun though. Grandma and Grandpa took care of the easter baskets this year. Then we had an egg hunt at our house. Crazy crazy crazy. Of course I don't think it helped that I was grumpy. Luckily no one seemed to notice.
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